tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51512722011-08-06T07:20:23.287-07:00shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other peoplem j dnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2541100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-49706721087483095142010-11-09T00:26:00.000-08:002010-11-09T01:15:07.279-08:00

It's my final nightshift before we take off to Mexico. It's Monday night. Plans for tomorrow: walk Rubee, sleep 2-3 hours, agonize about leaving Rubee, pack, agonize about Rubee, bathe Rubee, clip Rubee's nails, paint my own nails, take Rubee to the dog park, feel guilty about leaving Rubee.Rubee is the love of our lives. She is our adorable, brave, quiet, charming 6.5 month old Airedale Terrier

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-48062284585840069342007-04-03T20:43:00.000-07:002007-04-03T20:49:33.387-07:00

i've been sick for a week with the flu and have missed 4 work shifts. yikes. that's 48 hours of work. i was ready to go back today but last night, my eyes started feeling funny and started to sprout the same nasty colored boogers that had been coming from my nose. went to the clinic and started some antibiotic eye drops. the doctor said that i would be ok to go to work today but when i woke up,

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-34922704077510666592007-03-25T22:38:00.000-07:002007-03-25T22:59:42.772-07:00

Saturday night: best night ever! Dinner here, yummy burgers stuffed with mushrooms, pickles, tomatoes, cheese with Caesar salad shared by 2 of my most favorite people ever; Nina and Alex. Then we got ready and went out to Hudson's on Whyte for my birthday. Every year I invite loads of people, boatloads really, and a handful turn up. This year, I only invited people who I actually cared if they

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-46495155188963933052007-03-12T16:02:00.000-07:002007-03-12T16:09:01.089-07:00

i stayed over at alex's all weekend. this is the trend as of late, if i have the weekend off, and i love it. to live with him would be divine; the waking up next to him part of it and the excellently cooked eggs every morning! on saturday night, as i slept next to him, he had a bad dream about me that he could not remember or else would not say. last night, sunday night, sleeping alone at home, i

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-41872851258923518352007-02-28T22:20:00.000-08:002007-02-28T22:22:07.129-08:00

Send me a lucid dream.Make it involve nudity.Lips to hold me,Eyes to watch me,Gaze to capture me tenderly.Grab me with ferocity and take it all out on me.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-24063217588925722582007-02-28T20:23:00.001-08:002007-02-28T20:23:55.786-08:00

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-15886046202851083172007-02-28T20:20:00.001-08:002007-02-28T20:20:12.963-08:00

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-7142887338356687232007-02-07T23:56:00.000-08:002007-02-08T00:04:34.062-08:00

i thought i had accepted that you would be leaving.i also thought i would get to say goodbye again.even though i know i knew you before and i know i will see you again, my mind, my heart, i ache and return to the crying thought of'i miss you.'

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-87140265020289619142007-01-29T08:06:00.000-08:002007-01-29T08:22:37.192-08:00

Monday - thought 'i'd better get on this buying a place to live bandwagon damn quick or soon i will be 40 and still in my parents basement.' sick with a cold. miss work.Tuesday - preapproved and have a realtor. am sick with a cold. miss work.Wednesday - excited! looking at places with a realor. come to realize that most of what i can afford are giant crapholes.Thursday - find a place and fall in

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-88049086598642088552007-01-10T19:58:00.000-08:002007-01-10T20:02:35.248-08:00

it's crazy to watch someone die. someone who contemplated suicide and maybe never even tried, to lie on the floor with a team of people, one shouting out orders, the others doing, not questioning, doing and working, and sweating and pumping to make the blood flow from the heart, through a body, pumping and squeezing breath into lungs that are dead, heart and lungs, a body, that maybe never did

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-32902987416291504282007-01-03T00:50:00.000-08:002007-01-03T00:56:35.661-08:00

For reasons unknown to me, I am awake at 0151. I dont' know how I stumbled upon these beautiful and moving photos and interactive photo essays but I'm grateful that I did. I found this photo, by Wayne Miller, especially touching. I miss slumber parties. Seems I am having a slumber party for one. Maybe I just need a good giggle in order to fall to sleep?

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-8880053701729967492007-01-01T22:48:00.000-08:002007-01-01T23:31:01.470-08:00

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Blantantly and unapologetically ate meat at a strict, unaccepting, Hippie BBQ. Note: I am and Albertan but I am not a redneck. Also, dictionary.com defines barbeque as "pieces of beef, fowl, fish, or the like, roasted over an open hearth, esp. when basted in a barbecue sauce." Tempai burger my ass, bark chewer!2. Did you keep your new years

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-61171309611346768612006-12-26T20:28:00.000-08:002006-12-26T20:33:19.691-08:00

One word answers!You.Can.Only.Type.One.Word.Not as easy as you may think...1. Where is your cell phone?table2. Your crush?Alex3. Your hair?:blonde4. Your mother?genuine5. Your father?:kind6. Your favorite item?:lipbalm7. Your dream last night?odd8. Your favorite drink?:H2O9. Your dream car?Civic10. The room you were in?:bedroom11. Your pet?:plants12. Your fear?spiders13. What do you want to be in

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-26362798233881026172006-12-14T22:08:00.000-08:002006-12-14T22:09:29.657-08:00

We'll do it allEverythingOn our ownWe don't needAnythingOr anyoneIf I lay hereIf I just lay hereWould you lie with me and just forget the world?I don't quite knowHow to sayHow I feelThose three wordsAre said too muchThey're not enoughIf I lay hereIf I just lay hereWould you lie with me and just forget the world?Forget what we're toldBefore we get too oldShow me a garden that's bursting into

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-25359016047178719392006-12-11T20:20:00.000-08:002006-12-11T20:24:49.332-08:00

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-51544759981653994652006-12-05T20:55:00.000-08:002006-12-05T20:56:55.928-08:00

i feel ugly.and shallow.i've tried on all my dresses with all my shoes, including the 3 new pairs, and have decided i hate them all.i have nothing to wear to the 2 christmas parties i have to go to this weekend because i'm ugly.and shallow.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-26866387564876908062006-12-03T21:17:00.000-08:002006-12-03T21:21:07.255-08:00

When I met you, my heart was broken.You are the glue that put it back together.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1164346563525024832006-11-23T21:33:00.000-08:002006-11-23T21:38:28.626-08:00

how excited am i?! so excited! tomorrow night, my sweetie and i are off to my staff christmas party at the ritziest hotel in the city! i have a fancy black halter dress that's knee length in the front, floor grazing in the back and has delicate beading all along the skirt and neckline; new dance shoes; new earrings and i'm getting my hair done! to top it all off, we have booked a room at the very

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1162599049720416372006-11-03T16:09:00.000-08:002006-11-03T16:10:49.736-08:00

my throat is raspy. i'm off to start the 1st of 3 night shifts. yes, everyone, be jealous! i have to work not only Friday night, but Saturday and Sunday as well! I'm on a strict diet of veggies, protein, WATER and green tea to try and stop this cold from setting in. we all know how fun it would be to have the flu one weekend and a cold the next, but i'm just not a very fun gal.enjoy your weekends

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1162454938987336962006-11-01T23:47:00.000-08:002006-11-02T04:50:41.896-08:00

TEN random things about me01. I worry about running out of time to be beautiful.02. I pick my nose.03. I constantly think about what to do next.04. Today's panties are black and lacy.05. I only just saw Trainspotting last week.06. I believe in ghosts.07. I want to be part of a fine art project.08. I get sick everytime I eat at Tim Horton's.09. I would appreciate more time to be more artistic.10.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1162242371307347102006-10-30T13:01:00.000-08:002006-10-30T13:07:26.313-08:00

i have lost 7lbs in 3 days. not a good thing. i finished work on saturday morning and felt sick on the ride home. i thought it was just the heat of the car, nina cranks it all the way up and i was wearing a parka, that was making me nauseous. it continued once i crawled into bed and even after i crawled out of it 2 hours later and was very very sick. i was sick, in the worst ways, all day

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1161749962696073882006-10-24T21:15:00.000-07:002006-10-24T21:19:22.713-07:00

if i haven't told you lately that i love you, i love you.if i haven't told you lately that i appreciate you, i appreciate you.everything you are, everything you do, i love, i appreciate.i'm not me without you.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160967837124237782006-10-15T19:54:00.000-07:002006-10-17T18:03:02.103-07:00

last wednesday cathaleen called me and asked me to sleepover this saturday. i was shocked and amazed! cathaleen is someone i hear from very rarely these days though i do love to see her, and know what's going on in her life. we used to be best friends and since we are no longer, i've had no other friend like her. i went to her place at about 8 and we sat around talking, got ready and then went

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160698694111431922006-10-12T17:15:00.000-07:002006-10-12T17:25:12.760-07:00

From Beneath a Maple TreeI Just Love YouMy Dreaming TreeSalt Spring IslandJuly 2006

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160595836261077952006-10-11T12:40:00.000-07:002006-10-12T17:29:09.243-07:00

i'm feeling like a lazy sack of something very unpleasant. nights mess me up big time. i worked out on monday, not tuesday, not today though i'm now awake at a decent time and off till friday night with no excuse other than i'm really just bagged. totally and completely wiped out. it was not a busy night last night. it was not a particularly emotionally night either, even though a patient i am

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160348208016539422006-10-08T15:55:00.000-07:002006-10-08T15:56:48.030-07:00

are we biology or God or something higher.i know my heart beats and i listen to it.the beat is biology, but what is the song.will this song exist when the beating stops.will one stay when one is gone, can one live without the other.-James FreyA Million Little Pieces

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160112614456756942006-10-05T22:28:00.000-07:002006-10-05T22:30:14.473-07:00

clasp your handsfeel the energy flowlet yourself feel this connection, the energy that moves aroundput yourself where you've always been in the universal life force.very slowly bring your hands to rest in your lapbreathing comfortably, tell yourself"i am a life force based in divinity. i am able to see to hear to feel to smell to touch to move to choose."

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160087818817183242006-10-05T15:30:00.000-07:002006-10-12T17:34:41.906-07:00

The cancer is back and it’s in Carol’s liver. I had just arrived home from Alex’s; we’d gone to Ikea and I'd bought a new blanket for my bed, one to replace the one I’d given Carol this summer. I went into the kitchen to show Mom and Mom said we needed to talk. She sat me down in the living room and told me “Carol has cancer in her liver and they can’t do anything about it.” I cried. I was

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1159921352363706082006-10-03T17:20:00.000-07:002006-10-03T17:22:32.383-07:00

the saddest news i could be given, is given.it seems cruelit feels funnyi almost laugh but i guess it's no jokei slam the door instead, nearly breaking the framewhat am i supposed to say?'ya, ok. sounds good.'carol, i thought you were impenetrable. i knew you weren't reallyi love you honeymy ethereal earth queenplease, know that you are loved

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1158551212653846132006-09-17T20:45:00.000-07:002006-09-17T20:46:52.683-07:00

This does not compute Friday night I was there Did not witness The abuse Of my boyfriend’s best friend’s mother by the hand of his father Her husband Supposed-to-be-soul-mate Love of her life Best friend Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit He left She cried She asked me what I thought I looked her in the eye and cried Drunk Suddenly sober Unable to deal To process What the fuck?

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1158299790926185012006-09-13T22:54:00.000-07:002006-09-14T22:56:30.940-07:00

Hey Big Brother! Congratulations! You are officially 28. Wow. 28. That has a nice ring to it! Enjoy your year as you did the last.Love ya!

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1156304393150799752006-08-22T20:35:00.000-07:002006-08-22T20:48:03.050-07:00

you know what? i spent a lot of today reflecting on how i could have hurt this person so badly, and i could have. i could have by not fully acknowledging how he felt about me. however, i know that i never felt the same towards him. i appreciated him. i respected him. i loved his friendship and i gave every ounce of effort towards that friendship back. it would have hurt him far more had i

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1156217928400845822006-08-21T20:29:00.000-07:002006-08-21T20:48:14.486-07:00

i work tomorrow. this week may proof to be a little crazy. i work 12s tuesday, wednesday, thursday, have friday off, then work 12s saturday, sunday and monday. whooo.was a good weekend though. movies with alex on friday and hanging on, laughing till my face hurt. saturday, went to ikea and looked at random things, restrained myself and bought only a few. sunday, had lunch and shopped with jill

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1155951095161869082006-08-18T18:20:00.000-07:002006-08-18T18:31:35.190-07:00

it's officially official! i am now a registered respiratory therapist! i'm an official member of the real world. welcome me! let's party!today was spectacular. worked last night. slept all day. my cold is finally subsiding, hooray, hooray! and my fantastic hairdresser gave me a fantastic haircut and i'm looking so super-hot. i have 4 days off and nothing to do and that's great. my only plan

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1160112773073553342006-07-24T18:30:00.000-07:002006-10-05T22:32:53.073-07:00

Love is giving someone the whole yoke. Alex just cooked 3 eggs. He broke 2 yokes. And insisted I take the one with a whole yoke. He is being the sweetest guy. Bringing me things, hugs, sharing my anger over the same thing and then bringing me back down. He danced with me at both campsites. He bought me a hammock! Wow... the whole yoke!

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1149892661281773052006-06-09T15:36:00.000-07:002006-06-09T15:37:41.283-07:00

cell-phone-wielding,soy-latte-drinking,imperious-gym-rat,with my hot-brat-smile,i saw that!i stole your thoughti held you still,for awhile

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1149892572926596362006-06-09T15:35:00.000-07:002006-06-09T15:36:12.940-07:00

i carry your heart with me ee cummings i carry your heart with me (i carry it inmy heart) i am never without it (anywherei go you go, my dear; and whatever is doneby only me is your doing, my darling)i fearno fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i wantno world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)and it's you are whatever a moon has always meantand whatever a sun will always sing is

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1146788706102864392006-05-04T17:23:00.000-07:002006-05-04T17:25:06.113-07:00

i'm not sure how much longer this blog will remain. it seems i have run out of things to say, or most likely, the desire to say them. we'll see.monday marks the turning over of a new leaf. i begin my first "real world" real job. i keep awaiting my parade or at least my membership card... so far nothing.grad is on saturday, but first i have one more test to do tomorrow. then my friends, i will

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1144296844531937552006-04-05T21:12:00.000-07:002006-04-05T21:14:04.546-07:00

Remember the Oxygen Index:OI = (Fio2 * MAP) / Pao2Therefore as your Pao2 improves, the oxygen index will decrease. A low OI is a good thing.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1142914135588722012006-03-20T20:07:00.000-08:002006-10-12T17:44:50.456-07:00

i am now 24.i am a self described cell-phone-wielding, soy-latte-drinking, imperious gym-rat.does anyone else get off on the phrase "0 trans-fat"?

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1142396908467752622006-03-14T20:26:00.000-08:002006-03-14T20:28:28.476-08:00

as i get closer to graduation and closer to that first sweet sweet paycheque, i'm becoming more serious about getting a tattoo. i want a dragonfly yet i'm still perfecting design ideas. i want the view to be from above, the way you see a dragonfly when it's landing on something. i do not want a dragonfly in flight, they look cheesy and lame. so, if anyone has any artistic talent what so ever, i

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1141102995464731422006-02-27T21:02:00.000-08:002006-02-27T21:03:32.443-08:00

my car is a weaponrabbit in the headlightstrapped by the spotlightfast and not fast enoughi'm so sorry

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1138943870965535112006-02-02T21:05:00.000-08:002006-02-02T21:17:50.976-08:00

i intend for tomorrow to be an exciting day. nina and i are going to the royal alex together as she has an orientation for nursing and i have my respiratory therapy adult intensive care unit exam. that's not very exciting. and as always, of course, i'm quite nervous about it. i did study today. i spend 2 hours in the the noise filled second cup soaking up caffeine and knowledge, and then 2 hours

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1137738126354637262006-01-19T22:20:00.000-08:002006-01-19T22:22:06.356-08:00

This year I have decided not to make any new New Year's resolutions. Instead, all of mine are the same as last year. My only resolution is to keep on keeping on doing just what I've been doing. I'm going to work out at least 3 times a week, keep trying to run 10 km, eat right, study hard, be a good girlfriend, and love myself. Ya, cheesy. Sounds easy and it pretty much has been. I'm not up to any

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1137738015774968142006-01-19T22:08:00.000-08:002006-01-19T22:20:15.786-08:00

it's shitty and sad and scary to see how sick people can quickly become. or to see how sick they become quickly after years and years of slowly doing it to themselves. you cannot smoke. you cannot consume shit, piling on the pounds while remaining quiet, sad, lonely, sedate, isolated, sedatary on your couch. you cannot look at me and say, "i don't know how this happened to me, why god, why?" and

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1135381240592299272005-12-23T15:34:00.000-08:002005-12-23T15:40:40.603-08:00

so i wrote the test and i was sure i had failed, yet i convinced myself that there was no point in worrying about it until i knew for sure. so i went to school the next day and we were all working in the lab on neonatal advanced life support stuff. allan came in and started to pull a few people aside one by one. by the time he had called 2 people out seperately i began to panic, thinking he was

m j dnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1135053820814594092005-12-19T20:42:00.000-08:002005-12-19T20:43:40.823-08:00

i think how nervous i am goes without saying.here i sit, sending out positive vibes.i do not doubt myself.i know more than i think if i just really think about it. i have enough pieces in my head to be able to piece the puzzle together. not over confident. not doubting myself.i will be just fine.and at this time tomorrow it will all be over!

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1134960867050932022005-12-18T18:51:00.000-08:002005-12-18T18:54:33.710-08:00

2 more sleeps until I write this horrid test3 more sleeps until I'm certified at Neonatal Resusciation3 more sleeps until I am able to become as inebriated as I choose in order to celebrate3 more sleeps until I truly sleep4 more sleeps until I exercise again4 more sleeps until I finish Xmas shopping4 more sleeps until I join the present and buy a cellphone4 more sleeps until I see my Honey7 more

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1134620371291605232005-12-14T20:05:00.000-08:002005-12-14T20:20:57.436-08:00

timo emailed me about a month ago with a quick update about his life. i emailed him back with a quick update about mine. that was that. he emailed me this weekend to say he was in town if i felt like going for coffee. i emailed back saying i was too busy. it's funny, he hurt me, i do forgive him now as it's all irrelevant to the present, and even though he hurt me and i have no desire to see him,

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1133991176648800432005-12-07T13:28:00.000-08:002005-12-07T13:32:56.656-08:00

a moment of clarity-nothing means anything when a pillar starts to crumble.the strong one-stay strong.you are strongplease let me be right about this.i have so much knowledge and still i'm so scared.none of the definitions means anything anymore.all the statistics become lies.it's so frightening to see you be afraid.it's so hard to not cry with you in the room.i save my tears, i smile, i laugh, i

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1132298121504498782005-11-17T23:12:00.000-08:002005-11-17T23:15:21.513-08:00

NINE INCH NAILSI love it I love it I love it... OOOOH!could have done without Queens of the Stone Age freaking on the audience though... get over it. You should hear what we say about you when you're not around.Best track - Terrible LiesBest Moment - being very near to tears during the gorgeous contrasting images of cinematography... That's what I want to do with a camera.I need say no more nor

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1131169994136999852005-11-04T21:52:00.000-08:002005-11-04T21:53:14.146-08:00

i'm tiredi'm up too latei'm not ready to go back there tomorrow

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1130905572727134252005-11-01T20:22:00.000-08:002005-11-01T20:26:12.743-08:00

i've found an area of respiratory therapy that i like, Adult Intersive Care Unit (AICU). there is something so satifying about ventilating people, suctioning out all their secretions for them, and tinkering with their ventilator settings all to get them OFF the ventilator and on with their merry lives. it reminds me alot of when i used to work in the greenhouse... people are like plants. really,

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1129672088150838132005-10-18T14:37:00.000-07:002005-10-18T14:51:18.056-07:00

much as i love my life, i'm pretty stressed out and sick of it right now. i am on my sleep rotation at the moment so i go in from 8pm-8am and then sleep all day. i'm up now, so i can study for my pre-rotational exam which i'm wigging out about because i don't really know what to focus on. i'm told by everyone who wrote it that "it's not too hard" but that really doesn't help my manic pessimisstic

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1126652720949465722005-09-13T16:02:00.000-07:002005-09-13T16:05:20.956-07:00

Happy Birthday Big Brother! I can't believe how old you are getting... I guess that means I'm getting old too. Naw, we will be forever young terrozing Nina as Super Matthew and Super Michelle.For those of you who have not yet heard Plans by Death Cab For Cutie, then shame on you! And for those of you who have only heard of Death Cab due to the exposure on The OC, shame on you too but less than

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1125009108413126462005-08-25T15:31:00.000-07:002005-08-25T15:31:48.416-07:00

to choose doubt as a faith is to choose immobility as a means of transportation

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1124988762655288872005-08-25T09:51:00.000-07:002005-08-25T09:52:42.660-07:00

my lab exam is at 2. i'm about to do a little more review. after that i'm going for tea with cathaleen. after about a month of phone tag, the day has come. i won't get excited in case the day is not actually here. i killed a spider. why do they haunt me? basements can be terrible places.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1124858354014913922005-08-23T21:36:00.000-07:002005-08-23T21:39:14.020-07:00

went back to school on mondayi miss lemonadei failed a testand the sweet sweet sunshinei have to rewrite it on thursdaygrass between my toesanother test fridayladybug on my legsi'm afraid of failuresimplicity and sunspots behind my eyes

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1124590904897681232005-08-20T19:08:00.000-07:002005-08-20T19:21:44.903-07:00

having a meh kind of day. one of those days when i have creative energy that can't be put to use because there are other suffocating responsibilities surrounding my spirit. i don't want to study. i never have. i've never been good at the whole stupid book thing. my notes are great, my brain is not. i want to paint and take pictures and decorate. i want to hang up some framed stuff but i want them

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1123215164056949472005-08-04T21:11:00.000-07:002005-08-04T21:12:44.063-07:00

question:how long do you have to miss someonebefore you're ok with them being gone?

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1123004109139227602005-08-02T10:28:00.000-07:002005-08-02T10:35:09.143-07:00

i'm feeling a strange sentimentality as of late and i'm trying to remember if i go through this as summer nears it's end every year? summer is truly nearly over for me. i have 3 weeks until i go back to school as of yesterday. 3 weeks! i feel like i've been robbed. i will have been in school, and gearing back into serious mode for a whole 2 weeks before nina has to do it. uh. i guess that's just

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1122860304645515942005-07-31T18:36:00.000-07:002005-07-31T18:38:24.650-07:00

he asked for wings so he could flyhe got no answer but decided he'd tryhe asked for life so life wouldn't gohis soul said "jump"his mind said "no!now is not the time to try to flynot when you could so easily die!""but i have wings!"he shouted to the nightand with all his faithhe jumpedand took flight

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1122266343640700642005-07-24T21:38:00.000-07:002005-07-24T21:39:03.646-07:00

i want a tattoo of a dragonfly. i am seeking out that perfect design so if anyone comes by something, please send it my way!

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1121665568276275682005-07-17T22:31:00.000-07:002005-07-17T22:46:08.283-07:00

friday: worked out, ran for the first time in ages and it was easier than ever. consumed food. dawdled in the shower and thoroughly enjoyed the getting ready to go out process. waited around till 2100 for a coworker to pick me up when she was supposed to pick me up at 2030, gave up and drove myself to whyte ave. where i met more coworkers for danielle's bday. all the guys were already very drunk.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1121383278714081462005-07-14T16:21:00.000-07:002005-07-14T16:21:18.716-07:00

Your Kissing Purity Score: 46% PureYou're not one to kiss and tell...But word is, you kiss pretty well.Kissing Purity Test

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1121383031894882292005-07-14T16:15:00.000-07:002005-07-14T16:17:18.436-07:00

Swing Life AwayAm I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?I'll show you mine if you show me yours firstLet's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worseLet's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own wordsWe live on front porches and swing life away,We get by just fine here on minimum wageIf

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1120095881739118652005-06-29T18:44:00.000-07:002005-06-29T19:00:10.336-07:00

i went to see sandy today and she fixed me right up. i've been fighting a cold, and not very well at that as i've felt pretty shitty for the past 2 days. it's in my throat and jaw and messing with my head. also, my back has been falling apart since last week. she cracked me in 2 places and i felt all my verterbrae slide back into place. the rest was all gentle manipulation. i love that lady. she

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1119415344658171352005-06-21T21:39:00.000-07:002005-06-21T21:42:24.663-07:00

today was not a good day at work. i'm tired. and grumpy. and it was so hot. plus, jon gave me the option of driving a tractor on the road that i had never driven on the road before and had not driven since last summer. i said no. i drove it back at the end of the day though once i had more practice on it and he told me, "you really should be confident at this by now. i don't get what your issue

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1119235545368464552005-06-19T19:44:00.000-07:002005-06-19T19:45:45.373-07:00

how life gets better when you really really need it to is simply refreshing and inspires hope. sometimes, you just need to ask.great song: breathe by anna nalick

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118984211630718262005-06-16T21:56:00.000-07:002005-06-16T22:16:12.736-07:00

Alex,I love you more than I've ever loved anything.Meeting you for lunchYour support through all my sessions of test anxietyYou listening and letting me just cry when my Grandpa diedYou being so funny, and weird and a T-RexYour sexy body and hot hot hair cutsGiggle fests beneath the coversWrestlingPicking me up and twirling meBeing able to randomly call you as often as I wantFully loading your

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118981970981189062005-06-16T21:19:00.000-07:002005-06-16T21:19:30.986-07:00

allow

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118809927091502302005-06-14T21:28:00.000-07:002005-06-14T21:32:07.123-07:00

had a great workout today. got there and realized i did not have my shoes so i drove home and got them. that set me back a half hour. did cardio. did not do arms. come tomorrow, it'll be a week since i've done upper body. according to dustin that's ok. let's hope so. did abs and sweated up the mat. gross. oh well. it went easier because there were people i knew. talked to trevor during cardio,

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118719154140056542005-06-13T20:13:00.000-07:002005-06-13T20:19:14.146-07:00

the gym was packed today yet absent were all the people that make it feel like home. i battled it out for machines, waiting in line, being polite, sharing and slowing down my sets to accomadate others all to hurry, hurry, hurry to get my cardio in at 5. 5, the time when by there surely someone, anyone that i truly know, arrives. but no! sure there were all my beautiful familar strangers, but none

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118565374666974142005-06-12T01:35:00.000-07:002005-06-12T01:36:14.673-07:00

today, i am not angry. love has been resolved. and i feel ok.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118470508255512312005-06-10T23:12:00.000-07:002005-06-10T23:15:08.260-07:00

on a better note, i worked out today, just a short cardio session and then did abs with a friend. it was enjoyable. i showered at the gym because i then had to go babysit. as i was getting ready, i was dressed, and was brushing my hair, this adorable asian lady said to me, "you already have a great figure, you don't need to work out."thank you very much adorable asian lady. at least you make me

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1118169233656111152005-06-07T11:30:00.000-07:002005-06-07T11:33:53.660-07:00

a day to crytears sealing eyelashes over faerie blue irisesaccented by red, tear stained eyes

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1117328306512020142005-05-28T17:58:00.000-07:002005-05-28T17:58:26.516-07:00

You are The Mad Hatter One thing is for sure- you're as mad as a hatter.You have an obsession with time and if tea timewere to ever cease, you would probably be evenmore confused. What Alice in Wonderland Character Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1115089067876958772005-05-02T19:45:00.000-07:002005-05-02T20:02:05.286-07:00

had a dream last night. well, actually this morning, sometime between when i first woke up and then fell back to sleep and woke again.i dreamt that lindsay and i were going to get our hair cut together. my mom had made an appointment for me with a girl named lisa. my appointment was for 1900 and she didn't take me until 2020. then when she started to cut it, it was like we were in a club and they

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1114828138363555362005-04-29T19:27:00.000-07:002005-04-29T19:28:58.363-07:00

today, a lady told me i "have beautiful skin." then i poked her with a needle and got some blood!she made my day.i think i ruined hers.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1114633847235603382005-04-27T13:29:00.000-07:002005-04-27T13:30:47.236-07:00

after years of considering it, thinking about it and not doing it, i'm doing it. i'm cutting meat out of my diet. here's why:http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=mym2002&Player=wm&speed=_medi'm not so sure how i'll 100% get around eggs and dairy though.but i will try.check out goVeg.com for more details. that's where i'll be.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1114489686991546782005-04-25T21:22:00.000-07:002005-04-25T21:28:06.993-07:00

my msn groups page where i had posted pictures for the last 2 years was deleted because it has been inactive for the last 120 days. screw you msn. so now i've downloaded the newest version of msn messenger and quite like it. it has a feature called "my space" which i can post pictures to and even keep a blog. i say SCREW YOU GUYS! trust you with my internet data? not too bloody likely! i am

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1114147085060438692005-04-21T22:13:00.000-07:002005-04-21T22:20:36.006-07:00

my dear friend MDD,you are heading for the coast tomorrow.ours is a friendship that has with stood many distances. this seems different. i know we will last. we are connected. but honey, when i need a good firm shoulder to cry on, yours is now much much further away. this is the first time we will have an ocean between us. one day i'll join you there in the sun to plant trees and keep the air

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1113887810066397782005-04-18T22:06:00.000-07:002005-04-18T22:16:50.066-07:00

i'm staying up late when i have no reason to be. i start my ER rotation tomorrow and i'm pretty worried about it. i feel like i only know about 1/8 of all the things i've "learned" in the past 2 years and that in a moment of stress i will forget it all and lose my head and then the whole trauma team will have another patient to add to triage. i'm worried i will humilate myself by being asked a

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1113792099700881782005-04-17T19:14:00.000-07:002005-04-17T19:51:40.756-07:00

on friday night, i went to alex's for his bday party. had a backyard bonfire thingy going on and the action revolved between the outside and the kitchen. oh kitchens, i could fill an encyclopedia with kitchen memories! i could have killed a certain friend of alex's certain bitchy girlfriend. i am outspoken. one of these nights when she gets all out-of-hand-mean-drunk on everyone, i may just have

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1113447460265527532005-04-13T19:57:00.000-07:002005-04-13T19:57:40.266-07:00

both hands by Ani Difranco i am walkingout in the rainand i am listening to the low moanof the dial tone againand i am gettingnowhere with youand i can't let it goand i can't get through...the old woman behind the pink curtainsand the closed dooron the first floorshe's listening through the air shaftto see how long our swan song can lastand both handsnow use both handsoh, no don't close your

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1113097842150445962005-04-08T18:49:00.000-07:002005-04-09T18:51:26.970-07:00

Happy Birthday Nina Beana! You may be bigger than me, but I will always be able to beat you in an arm wrestle. Maybe you should stop working out... I don't think it's working! ;)

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1112377368619972782005-04-01T09:40:00.000-08:002005-04-01T09:43:17.556-08:00

my head feels like someone stuffed a wet, flannel blanket into it. i barely slept. my nose is all stuffed. i tried to breathe through it and felt like i was breathing through a straw. that must be what it feels like to be intubated. gross. so then i breathed through my mouth but it got so dry! why doesn't my mouth have the ability to filter, warm and humidify air? what makes the nose so goddamn

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1112332582651340152005-03-31T21:15:00.000-08:002005-03-31T21:16:22.650-08:00

TOMORROW! SO EXCITED!i dream of you tonight benicio.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1112225979997823702005-03-30T15:37:00.000-08:002005-03-30T15:41:02.350-08:00

you didn't call.i'm not surprised.but i'm hurt, as always. as i always will be.i see who you are.you have turned out to be all the people you warned me would hurt me.all the people you said i was too soft to.too soft?i'm letting go.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1112052615933050662005-03-28T15:24:00.000-08:002005-03-28T15:30:15.936-08:00

late. then awkward. ate food. she broke up with richard on friday and yet everything is still the same between them. how can this be? she doesn't elaborate on any of the things they need to work out. she brings these topics up and then when i show interest, she clams up. we go to walmart. zombie through there. and then she drops me off. she liked my xmas gift. she forgot mine. she says she'll

m j dnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1112040717717653052005-03-28T12:02:00.000-08:002005-03-28T12:11:57.720-08:00

i'm sitting here waiting to hear from cathaleen. we were going to go out on the town last night, but she called to tell me she was massively sick, the whole, is it a headcold? or the flu? or what the hell are you and why won't you leave me alone sickness i had for a month. good to know it's hitting everyone and not just me. it is RSV season afterall my friends. cover your mouth and wash your

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1111699551084778572005-03-24T13:25:00.000-08:002005-03-24T13:25:51.086-08:00

it's wrong to think your friend's a slutit's wrong to judge her choicesi can't help what i think

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1111589862307363932005-03-23T06:56:00.000-08:002005-03-23T06:57:42.306-08:00

i am nervous about today's test. i put so much time into it all last night. but i was only able to study the stuff since the last midterm. today, i have to study all my previous notes before the test at 12:15. i'm kind of nervous. my mark is this class is quite high, but that's not the point. i have room to fall, but who wants to? 4 hours to study.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1111524382691000602005-03-22T12:41:00.000-08:002005-03-22T12:46:22.693-08:00

only 2 more tests left. don't know how well the last few have gone. my lab exam today left a bad taste in my mouth. i'm so uncertain of whether or not i even did it right. allan gave me no feedback and i won't know my mark until later. uh! i hope i justified all my choices appropriately. i got caught a little off guard, and think in retrospect that volume control might have been better than

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1111368471230987912005-03-20T17:27:00.000-08:002005-03-20T17:27:51.230-08:00

Today I am 23. And that is the only thing that has changed.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1110839477301781922005-03-14T14:26:00.000-08:002005-03-14T14:31:17.303-08:00

i just read a link about how blogging can get you fired! how crazy is that? i suppose it only makes sense though. if i were to share some top secret information here, then i'd be violating all sorts of company laws and what not.i'm am so tired. i have such a horrid headache. i was off today at 9:15. i came home, worked on my project and then went for lunch at alex's house. that was quite nice.

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1110741461653178172005-03-13T11:04:00.000-08:002005-03-13T11:17:41.656-08:00

i did not want to do anything on friday night. i was exhausted. i felt crappy. i have had a cold for 3 weeks now, and just when i thought i was feeling better it morphed from being a chest cold into a full on head cold. i slept for 2 hours when i got home from school, called alex and told me all i wanted was to stay in. he tells me he already arranged for us to go to a movie with joey & melissa,

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1110509295732219272005-03-10T18:40:00.000-08:002005-03-10T18:48:15.736-08:00

i am in love with belle and sebastian. i knew i would be. they are one of the great parts of the ever-so-great reindeer section. you should also love belle and sebastian. people love me! let's make that statment one of those deductive reasoning things:michelle is smart.people love michelle.all people who love michelle are smart.this session of mind control have been brought to you by the number

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1110172890801242402005-03-06T21:21:00.000-08:002005-03-06T21:26:57.240-08:00

my newest great ideas involve various fantasies of what it will be like when i move out. how i will decorate my bathroom and house in cool, trendy, yet not too trendy to need motification every year, decor. how i will take photos i have taken and frame them and combine them with other medium and hang them throughout the house and they will all be different enough that guests will ask, "where did

m j dnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5151272.post-1110149230835769882005-03-06T14:47:00.000-08:002005-03-06T14:50:02.806-08:00

m j dnoreply@blogger.com0